When planning a wedding, brides (AND GROOMS) go through A LOT that no one warned them about. Do you know how I know? I went through it too. I also happen to be a trained therapist. That’s how AisleTalk was born.
A year after I got married and went through my own cocktail of wedding planning stress, my sister-in-law, Annie, found herself in the exact same place - only different, no two trips down the aisle are accompanied by exactly the same stress cocktail. For her, she found herself in the wedding dress salon, accompanied by her mother, Laura and myself.
What is a fairly typical banter-filled dynamic about Annie’s very specific expectations for clothing fit took a negative turn when a comment about fit from mom was received as hitting below the belt. As a family therapist, it’s nearly impossible for me to hold back from jumping in when I see a parent and child having difficulty communicating. Without pause, I did just that and helped the two come to a mutual understanding of why something was said, what the intention behind it was, and why it may have been interpreted more harshly than intended. Once tears had dried and humor was invited back into the conversation, Laura said to me - you should be a bridal therapist or something!
In that moment, all my own planning stress came back to me. And then all the conversations I had had in the past with my friends and family about their stress - the bridesmaid drama, the budget constraints, the diet worries, the cold feet, the in-law stresses - and I realized sitting outside that fitting room that the only non-unique thing about wedding stress is that it’s not unique! Nearly everyone has SOMETHING that will make them lose sleep, seek comfort food, or snap at their partner unintentionally, so why isn’t there anyone around to help with this?
The second we get engaged, we start assembling our support team: we hire a planner to help us stay organized. We hire a personal trainer and start working out more than we ever have. We start getting facials regularly and whitening our teeth. We finally get that deep conditioning treatment we always say no to at the hair salon. But who are we reaching out to for our emotional health? If every other article on weddings is about wedding stress, who are we going to for support with it?
AisleTalk is that outlet. That safe space where you can gain perspective, insight, or just vent about all the stressors you’re experiencing during this process. When you do that with an unbiased person who’s not involved in the planning, you will get down the aisle feeling as good on the inside as you do on the outside.
Why is that?
A therapist isn’t involved in the wedding so she has absolutely positively NO agenda when offering guidance and support around the stressor - only your best interest.
When we are carrying around the weight of unaddressed stress, we will feel it in some way - changes in appetite, sleep, mood, interpersonal interactions, difficulty at work, etc. On your wedding day, you want to be present and happy - not snappy, anxious, or in your own head.
A therapist, especially one specializing in wedding planning stress GETS that this isn’t surface-level stuff. It’s real and it’s hard and, even if it’s not going to last forever, it’s worth talking about.
We get it - therapy isn’t for everyone. But who hasn’t had a good talk with a friend or even a good cry when something stressful happens and felt better about it afterwards? When you’re planning a wedding, stressful things might be coming up more often and having someone who’s in place regularly to help you with it, so that it doesn’t threaten the happiest day of your life, can be the best marital investment you ever make!
Want to stay connected with AT for support throughout your wedding planning? Book a call, follow @aisletalk, or send us a message! We’d love to be there for you.